Camping involved a little of this...(Mau on the 8 mile ride we did) 

A little of this... 

And that produced a little of this. 

Real adventures in camping...and annoying ones

There were a lot of adventures in camping this time. It all began when driving there. We were a couple of exits away from the campground when I noticed my bike tire was up really high in relation to the trunk. Mau looks in his mirror and doesn’t see my other tire at all. Uh, we pulled over quickly and found the bike hanging by one clip around the frame. We fixed it and moved on.

It was very wet at the site but not raining. It did rain briefly during dinner on Saturday and during our sleep that night. It was, however, humid as fuck and that kind of sucked but it wasn’t too hot so it all worked out. Throughout most of my life, I have avoided at high costs using public restrooms and most importantly, going in the wilderness. It’s really not my thing…I would make a terrible hippy. I begged Mau to walk up to the restrooms with me but he convinced me (out of pure laziness) to “just go in the woods”. It was simple enough to just walk back on the trail behind our site and it was dark so I agreed. I repeatedly asked Mau to help me not pee on my clothes (I really can’t get this peeing in the wild down and I have tried periodically over my many years) so he puts a flashlight on me while I pee and laughs uncontrollably the whole time which makes my unusually lengthy piss almost hurt from my own laughter. I was very excited for myself overcoming a fear and not peeing on my clothes. I didn’t think anything more about it. In step the chiggers. I really think this is when they decided to attack me. I really didn’t go in the woods other than that time. Of course I didn’t know this. I didn’t even know what the fuck they were until I asked a pharmacist today what the hell was going on with my ankles. He took one look and said “Looks like chiggers.”. Huh? What the fuck are chiggers? I did some research on the trusty internet and found out they are quite a pain in the ass, uh, ankles. I have scratched them to the point of most likely bringing on an infection and my one ankle (in the photo) is swelled up. It freakin sucks ass. As far as I could tell, you just use some ointment (different than the 3 other things I had already used) and ride it out for possibly weeks.

Mau & I took the dog for a late night walk around the campground Friday night. I had the flashlight off because I could hear people coming. It was a crying girl and some guy consoling her. I saw him pulling her shirt back toward him and saying "I know I've only known you for an hour but...". Kali then jumps on the girl making her squeal "It's a dog!" and run away. We saw Mary Jo standing outside the bathrooms having just gotten done with her shower. She says a girl had just come into the bathrooms when she was in the shower and the girl was crying uncontrollably.

Crying girl: Hello?

Mary Jo: Yes?

Crying girl: Have you ever lost anyone really close to you?

Mary Jo: Well, yeah.

Crying girl: Can you turn off the shower?

Mary Jo: No, it's on a timer.

Crying girl: Well, then can you step away from the shower because I'm gonna flush the toilet and I don't want you to be cold cos it's raining outside and you'll be cold. (said while bawling her eyes out)

Eventually the psychotic girl left but it freaked Mary Jo out. I told her we had ran into a crying girl too and we both got to see what she looked like the next day after we guessed who it was.

The final adventure occurred when we were nearly home on a road with no shoulder. Mau sort of swerves and yells “Fuck!”. I ask what’s wrong and he says “Your bike just fell off the rack.”. “WHAT?” I screamed. I look back and sure enough, there’s a truck veering around my bike laying in the middle of the fucking road. Great. We stop, throw on the flashers and Mau runs back and gets it. It was pretty beat up. We find that both clips on the rack had broken. We had to just prop in on the rack and drive home really slow so it wouldn’t fall off again. Once home I see my seat took the brunt of the fall with a huge hole in it and my handlebars were knocked out of the clamp thingie that holds them and chewed up on the ends. My pedals are chewed up on the sides and the frame paint is chipped all over. The frame is not bent though nor are the wheels. The tires were in tact too. We took it to the bike doctor today to make sure it’s still aligned so I don’t have a surprise while riding one day. That bike rack had also chipped the paint on the trunk of the car, the new car…grrr. It went out in the trash last night. We are going to get a different rack.

Off for camping

I finally happened upon the video store when Elephant was available…I have been trying for awhile but it’s always rented. I am a big Gus Van Sant fan but I was worried with the wait that it would be a letdown. Anything but. I thought it was brilliant and, as quite a few of his films, filmed in Portland. I highly recommend it.

We can celebrate now because…school is back in! Whoohoo. Skylar is happy about it and I’m happier hehe. The only bummer is that they moved the start/dismiss times back 15 minutes and he doesn’t get home on the bus until after 5pm. I think that is late and it conflicts with him being at Kung Fu but, since Mau is on 3^rd shift, he can be picked up those days.

We started our Fall league but, besides us and Keith & Mary Jo, no one else showed so we joined a different league at the same time, same days. It’s a better league because we all get passes to King’s Island at the end of it and it’s only slightly more expensive each week. That works for us since we weren’t able to buy passes this year and if we can get them for “free” and bowl each week? Why not huh?

Beautiful, picture-perfect weather all week but something must have heard us say the word “camping” so thunderstorms, heat and humidity comes back just in time. We leave today for the weekend with Keith & Mary Jo joining us. I need a small getaway and some relaxation in the woods with Mau making constant cracks about a drunken Keith will do.

Oh my god! No, MY god!

Mau got a new job and he starts today. It’s a helpdesk 3^rd shift deal at a local bank. He is still employed at the other place too but they haven’t sent him anywhere lately.

Sorry Dem, FunkyB sent communication stating he was only in P-land for a day…poo. So close, yet so far away.

We swung by the old hood to pick up a Ted on Wednesday and we are sitting in front of Angels and Edr0 strolls down the street and hops in the driver’s seat. He says his car that just came out of the shop is back in due to some other issue so he’s delivering Chinese food in his mom’s ride (I can imagine she loves that). We had to head back to the old hood Thursday for Sky’s “meet the teacher” night so we rolled by Starbucks to pick up required caffeinated beverages for the occasion. Here comes Edr0 strolling across the street and hops in the backseat. He chats for a few then takes off. We do the school thing, hop over to KY then decide to cruise back through Clifton to grab some Thai. Who’s that milling toward us? Yep, Ed. We finally asked “Do you work anymore?”. I think I have fulfilled my Ed requirement for the week.

My super religious neighbors closed in on us tonight to ask us over for dinner. Oops…I have not talked about these 2 yet, have I? Oh boy. Ok, this house next door was vacant for a long time (oh, those were the days) then a young couple bought it. We only met the guy at first and he seemed alright while playing basketball, then he spoke. He was finishing up minister school or whatever you call it. Unfortunately the more we learn of them and communicate with them, the more we find ways to fuck with them. On the day of his graduation, he invited us to the “party”. Mau says “Sure, as long as you have LOTS of beer…I need to get wasted.”. Joe (the dude) says “Oh sorry, we don’t drink alcohol.” But he’s friendly about it while looking slightly disturbed. Let me say his wife (Joanna…I know, Joe & Jo? Creepy.) religiously (literally, ha) wears the long denim skirt with running shoes and her extremely long hair up in a bun. She also seems very scared of us…I kind of like to keep it that way. It didn’t take long before Joe interrupted our enjoying of the outdoors one day by asking me my opinions on abortion and, gasp, homosexuals. My eyes light up and Mau cautiously takes a step back. Joe rambled off statistics sheepishly while I shot back facts and my opinions, which of course are the extreme opposite of his. For some reason he told me both he and his wife were virgins before they met and were recently married. I told him that’s nothing to brag about. He finally gave up and I figured we were through with him trying to convert us. Oh no. He’s now has his own church in a reception hall down the street and really really wants us to come join in the fun. The one night he asked if we would want to come to church with them tonight. Mau’s response? “Sorry, tonight’s no good. We have some skateboarders and Arabs coming over for an illicit poker game with illegal drugs then we’re all going to have sex together.”. You would think he would just chalk Mau up to being an asshole but he keeps coming back. I suppose we have represented souls begging to be saved. Tonight, after I know he heard insane amounts of profanity strewn from our walls after I found an animal had knocked over a can of soda and the remains of my pad thai then Kali walked through it making sticky doggie prints throughout the house. I walked outside in a huff to find them standing there staring at our house. After a comment about how they don’t like our cat because he sits on their porch (huh?), they ask if we would like to come over for dinner sometime so we “can see each other’s houses”. Please don’t tell me any of this involves a piano and the singing of the gospel. Pentagrams already in place but they won’t see our house until I get my H.R.Giger print framed and hung in the dining room…Birthmachine? You know the one J

Take that, Bitchee! 

Beware: FunkyB is loose in Portland

Skylar bowled a 132 in his summer league this week, which happened to be the last game of the season. Wow, I know! Kicked the butts of the snobby catholic high school girls he was playing against…hehe. They have a party next week but it’s over. His Fall league starts in a few weeks. I like that league better because they get the YABA awards for scores and chances for tournaments.

There’s this tunnel downtown on one of the freeways and one side was shut down because of major damage due to an accident. We were driving the opposite direction commenting on the fact it was still shut down 6 hours later when we hear a screeching sound and see a car sliding past us sideways and coming to a complete stop in front of us. Luckily Mau had slowed down to rubber neck the other side or we would have plowed into this moron since it was slick from rain. I asked the guy if he was OK but he ignored me and sped off past a cop who was on the radio calling in his plates. Skylar said he was so scared he almost peed his pants.

FunkyB got sent to Portland of all places for that job, the lucky bastard. Not sure for how long but Mau was salty they didn’t call him to go out there too (he’s actually still employed with them)…he wanted to see Dementia & krew and Ward. He hates that job but he would have gone there just to go. He could have done the evil pop-in on my dad.

And introducing...Lila the rat! We acquired her from Jeni & Co. and she is a sweetie. The cats could care less and Kali just wants to lick her like everything else. 

She'll knock Kriss Kross out of the box cos she'll be upside down (Fear of a Black Hat...you get it) 

Just hose me down every 5 minutes or so

Call us insane but Wednesday we took Sky and 2 (yes, that’s the numeral 2) of his neighborhood friends to The Beach waterpark. Surprisingly, everything went smoothly and they all had a blast. It has been miserably hot here lately (lately meaning all fucking summer) so getting wet is always a welcome activity and I got wet so I was happy.

Being ecstatic over getting wet in the sweltering heat, we went to the lake on Saturday. We swung by the old pad to pick up Ted and finally saw Sky’s old best friend, Kris, standing on his grandma’s porch. We didn’t have her number and we have looked for him whenever we drove down that street for the past year. Sky misses him a lot and to tell you the truth, so do we…he’s such a good kid and he nearly lived at our house for 2 years. Well, Sky’s eyes about popped out of his head when he saw Kris so we got clearance from his grandparents and took off with him. The lake was great and relaxing. We stopped by the old pad again on the way back to get permission to keep Kris overnight which made Sky almost pee his pants with glee.

Edr0 made a rare visit to the crib. Being he was without his Chinese b/f, it was even more rare…really, this floored us. We still had Ted so we all went to this awesomely cheap pizza buffet. We tried to get the weekly poker game moved here but no one was budging. Too scared we’d take their money once again? ;)

I finally saw Kung Fu Hustle this week. It was hilarious, very good, highly recommended.

Jammin in Newport, KY

Yay, he's home!

I spent all day Friday wondering where Mau was. He was due back that day but they (the company) weren'’t sure if they were sending him back or not then they got his ticket wrong so he didn'’t know what was going on. I was worried all day since I didn't see him online or had gotten a phone call.

Instead, I spent the day baking because Mary Jo had instructed me to. It was a neighbor'’s birthday and since I was the one home in the day with central air, the job was given to me. I made a cake and a pan of brownies...…I do do some damn good baking. Cooking? That's another story.

Keith had gotten some pizza and we had a little party in their backyard. Then, a surprise. Mau'’s brother stops by with his g/f. Ok. The 2^nd time in a week'’s time that I have to deal with Mau's family while he's gone (had the hour long Grandma call 2 days prior trying to convince me to let my highly impressional child go to Florida with her? Uh, let me think about that no.). The brother is going back to jail for some reason so he wanted to see Mau before he sees the big house. It went better than expected then they left. I went back over to Mary Jo'’s backyard. Another surprise. A figure comes walking into the backyard. I'’m thinking "Who the fuck is that?"” (it was quite late after all) when I hear Keith yell "Hi John!" Oh! He was trying to surprise me. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders...…it was getting a little stressful with him gone.

We somehow got the Saturday night poker game moved to our house. It only ended up being 6 people but we raised the buy-in and it worked out quite well...…well because I won! He he. I think they saw the girl as the easy take down and I'’m not so easy. Not sure if they realize I play everyday and …no need for me to divulge that info either ;)

Above is a picture of Sky and one of his school posse members, Tino on stage with Zak Morgan, an apparently quite popular children's folk singer. His class for the past 2 years has been in correspondence with Zak Morgan and got him to come to their school, which the kids dug of course, and were very proud that a celebrity would write them back and agree to come. Pretty cool. His teacher called us to let us know he would be performing at the Levee so we went down for it. Skylar had no idea what we were doing there but looked at the stage, saw Zak and his eyes lit up. He ran up to the stage and I guess the guy remembered him and I saw a shaking of hands then Sky and Tino were asked onstage to perform with him. It was pretty cool and I didn'’t realize how popular this guy was until I visited his website. He was really good with the children and they all seemed to be having a blast listening to him and interacting with the songs.

Oh so nice

Thanks to Dementia, I have a registered version of my site editing program again…whoohoo, let the web designing begin, uh again.

I think I failed to mention I got that split 7” of HateBeak and Caninus (on African Grey vinyl no less) awhile back. HateBeak is studio only considering the parrot’s sensitive ears. I would highly doubt Caninus plays out either…I can’t see the dogs singing on command. They really interest Kali though. I get a kick out of throwing it on and watching her ears perk up and cocking her head to the side, it’s cute.

Last week, in Sky’s summer bowling league, he bowled a 92, 95 and a 114. That is his best series and best single score ever…he was pretty excited. My Fall league starts soon so we have to figure out what Mau’s schedule will be (he’s most likely not staying at this current job for many reasons) so we know if we will be a team or if I need a teammate, which would be Keith & Mary Jo’s daughter, Stephanie. I miss bowling though and am looking forward to it.