What do you call a doctor who failed out of medical school? A Dentist.

In order to get my braces put on, I had to do the dreaded task of getting my teeth cleaned. I won’t lie, it’s been a long fucking time…like 11 years long. I was plaque ridden and scared to death of the actual painful cleaning and the risk of cavities or worse. I was on a time limit due to my orthodontics appointment being next week so I had to go with a bad choice of a dental clinic. The receptionist was already irritated by some other guy so she wasn’t pleasant by the time she had to deal with me, hassling me over my lack of an insurance phone number. I suggested she look it up on this machine called a computer and she reluctantly complied. The hygienist came to get me with a big smile on his face which faded once he saw the state of my bottom front teeth, which were sealed together by plaque. It was sadistic pain and once a couple tears rolled down my face, he yelled at me. Why does this always happen to me? Being yelled at when I got my wisdom teeth yanked is the whole reason for the 11 year hiatus. Knowing that going to the dentist causes many people great anxiety, why must they always act MORE like assholes once you show any type of fear? Of course it makes me think of that Seinfeld episode…

What’s the difference between a sadist and a dentist? Dentists have better magazines. Something like that.

Anyways, I made it through alive but covered with blood. Of course no one told me I had blood smeared all over my face until I walked outside and Mau said I looked like I was in a fight. There is a silver lining here. The dentist walked in for all of a minute. Ok, 45 seconds, I was being generous. She told me the best news. NO CAVITIES! Whoohoo. I think I would have died if I had to have work done. The cleaning alone drained me and I can barely talk because my bottom teeth and jaw feels like someone decked me. I know braces will probably make this feel like a fucking massage.

Skylar: Why are you getting braces mommy?
Me: So my teeth will be straight and pretty.
Skylar: NO mom! I don’t want you to change, I love you just the way you are.

He keeps saying it and I realize it is because each time he says it I say “Oh, that’s so sweet Skylar!” and hug him…I am now seeing this is an affection scam. Damn manipulative kids and gullible moms.

I am averaging about 4 hours per day on DDR now. It’s quite a bit of work opening up all the songs and such, especially since I did something stupid and erased all our data so we had to start over. I really like a lot of the new songs and some are completely retarded but I will play them anyways.