Happy Halloween!

Mau got a job! Like a REAL job, not one of these other 2 jobs he was working not making shit. It's serving again but hey, it's money. He's only interviewed for a zillion IT jobs to not have any come through and he was to the point of being fed up. He has to train for a week then he should be making the loot. Until then, we are broker than broke.

Friday night was the Halloween party at the Kung Fu center. It was pretty cool. We dressed up and I got tons of compliments on my ensemble. I was happy I took the time to do all the makeup and such. We aren't having a party this year due to being broke and really not having enough people that would come to make it worth it. I did decorate though...not like I would if I were having a party. Edr0 was disappointed in the "no party" news and said he was bringing his g/f so we are having a mini one now, without all the extras though like my kick ass food assortment and the fog machine. Well, I should go see if the fog machine still works. Mau and Sky are carving pumpkins.

Close the God Damn Door!

NickG was in town this past weekend. Fun was had by all. FunkyB, Mumbles and NickG came by Friday night. We chowed some Skyline, Nick tried out some DDR, we played a round of Karaoke then it was time for Mumbles bedtime. The remaining participants played a round of Mario Party 5.

Saturday night the kiddo had a sleepover next door so FunkyB, Nick, Mary Jo and Keith joined us in some later night bowling. We had to wait the end of leagues so we played a round of pool and nearly embarrassed ourselves with some real Karaoke. Really, it was bad enough listening to the older couple that was on stage. Thankfully they got us a lane quickly. Nick and FunkyB cleaned out my supply of Roxicets and surprisingly bowled really well on them. Afterwards, Edr0 stopped by to see Nick and chill a bit. The deal to get Nick to bowl was that he could play the turntables when we got back so he played around on them for awhile.

Ok, the bathroom buffer zone in the old house was much wider than here. In the old house it was upstairs so leaving the door open was no biggie. Here the main one is right next to the livingroom on the first floor. Nick must either be really comfortable with me or he thinks I'm a guy because he really violates the buffer zone by leaving the door open.

Kung Fu news is Skylar is done with his Dragon Fist and onto learning his first weapon form. He is learning 2 person Primary Fist as well as Short Staff now. We bought him a light one and a heavy one today at Home Depot. Shi Fu will cut them to fit his size.

Mau has now bowled an all time high game of 185. It didn't count but he's been pretty consistent so we might pull up slightly in league.

Dick Cheney can lick my ass

The animals in this park are crazy I am finding. Saturday we were walking Kali and this little black bunny just comes up to us so we could pet it. The raccoons will come up to you too and generally, the deer don't really run from you. Sky was pretty happy to pet a wild bunny. Don't worry, I already kicked myself in the ass for not bringing the camera as he posed for us.

Sky got his bowling ball. He keeps opening the bag and holding the ball then putting it away. He wants to bowl with it so badly but we don't let him bowl when we are with our league. He just plays with the other kids or plays video games. His average has gone up to a 41. He bowled a 66 his first game but went downhill after that and got pissed off when we tried to correct his throws. FunkyB didn't show for league this week...where'd he go? We played a couple we've played before and I really thought we had a chance but we lost. They only beat us 1st and 3rd games by 4 and 5 points though so, overall, not so shabby.

New balls is what was needed. Mau bowled a 161 today and I stayed above my average every game. Too bad those scores don't count though huh?

The vice president was in town today, speaking just down the street. Of course half the city gets shut down so he can drive across town with no incidents. We couldn't get near our house and got rerouted to an area where we got lost then drove around in circles, getting more and more pissed off. I then turned and saw the Bush/Dick buses drive by. I was so irritated at that point, I flipped them off. Not that I wouldn't flip them off in a good mood but it seemed more appropriate then. All of sudden Sky goes off on a tangent about how he's not voting for Bush and voting for John Kerry instead (even though he's only 7). It was comical.

Robot Girl

I am hooked to a zillion wires right now. I look like a science project. They gave me the heart monitor yesterday and I have to wear it until afternoon today. Mau calls me "Robot Girl" and I'm thinking I would like to be a superhero. I had the echo and the stress echo yesterday. There's nothing like running on a treadmill with your boobs hanging out (painful too I might add). You get to your target heart rate for your age then jump off and lie down on your left side and they take pictures of your heart but they have to do in within 60 seconds so you have to move fast. No needles though! Dr.M says my heart looks great, totally healthy. My lungs are the culprit then...surprisingly, not from smoking though. It's not helping matters I'm sure but it's not the cause. I am trying to quit though, "trying" being the key word here. It's really hard.

Grandpa is buying Sky his first bowling ball. He felt bad that Sky got 2 points from 75 and thought $50 was pretty cheap for a ball, drilled and sized with your name on it. I agree. Sky is so happy he could do flips...oh wait, that's how he acts all the time.

Ed has been by a couple times to hang out. Nope, still haven't seen her. We're just not good enough to meet her :-(

Kali and I were walking through the woods on Wednesday. First, Kali starts flipping out, trying to get off the leash and I turn to see a deer run past us. Nearly scared the fuck out of me. Then we walked a bit further and she flips out again. This time, it was 2 turtles. We went home and got the camera but then I decided to take one home to show Skylar. He/she chilled in the house for awhile then we took him/her back where I found it later. It was really active in the house, walking all over. It was cool.

Happy Birthday Mau!

Sorry you have to spend half the day at the hospital with me.

I'm in!

Dr.M called this pulmonary guy (Dr.K) and boom, I'm in next Friday. She told him he needs to see me ASAP. But these other heart tests have been moved to tomorrow because the results need to be back to Dr.K by next Friday so there's no other choice at this point. After learning of Dr.K's concern with me and Dr.M's, it kind of scares me. I will have to figure out how this is going to work with Mau working and me needing a ride home. I would take a cab but I don't get paid until Monday because they skipped me last pay period...bastards.

A lot of medical mumbo jumbo

My chest CT was abnormal. My lymph nodes are enlarged and it shows sarcoidosis on my lung. Looking this strange sounding disease up, it makes sense why I have been so short of breath lately.

"Sarcoidosis is a disease of unknown cause in which inflammation occurs in the lymph nodes, lungs, liver, eyes, skin, and/or other tissues."

It gives you a scaly rash on your face and open sores so I'm kind of glad it's inside me instead. Although, this leads to having a lung biopsy where they put you out and stick something through your chest to take a chunk of your lung then have to watch you for a day or 2 so your lung doesn't collapse. Oh, what fun. I am being referred to a pulmonary Dr for that and possibly a Bronchoscopy which sounds like pure hell and requires hospitalization as well. I called this particular Dr and he's booked until next year. Uh, OK. Scheduling said he can pencil me in sooner though but she cannot so someone will be calling me.

I don't know if this has anything to do with my heart yet or not. Dr.M's nurse seems to think what is causing my heart to beat funky is due to an issue with my lungs but I have to have more tests on my heart done next Tuesday...the stress one and a heart doppler (some sort of sonogram, nothing painful) and a 24 hour monitor. These have to be done anyways before any pulmonary tests can be performed. Turns out this stress test is done with a treadmill. They didn't do my father's that way since he was a risk. The nurse said that crap to speed up your heart sucks so I should be happy to not have it done that way. It's never fun to have your heart race while you are just sitting there calmly. I wish all this stuff didn't take so long since in the meantime, I don't feel well and I'm just really scared.

My blood work came back normal. Low cholesterol (thanks Cheerios!), low tris, potassium is normal, normal thyroid, normal CBC (I feel like I'm on ER) and my kidneys are good.

Ok, onto better news? Bowling went great. I didn't feel like I was dying this time. We didn't bowl against anyone and FunkyB just bowled for his average. He's a team now but w/o a partner. Mary Jo got a ball so she's pretty happy but her ball kept coming back at her from the gutter instead of the ball return. It was beyond strange. I was trying to bowl correctly...you know, the 4 step approach. I can get strikes here and there but generally, it curves to the left then I have to go back to what I call "the Robyn approach" to pick up the spare.

Let the vampires know I'm open for business

I went to the heart Dr finally...the big day. Since she's starting from scratch, she wants to run every possible test there is to get to the bottom of the issue here. Starting with blood work, of course. Even though it was 5pm, I got sent over to the hospital immediately for my first blood draw then a spiral CT of my chest to rule out blood clots. Not a big fan of the blood work...in fact, as many of you can testify, I'm a big fucking baby when it comes to that type of stuff. I was OK on the blood draw. Actually was proud of myself for only starting to tear up, but not fully crying. I forgot this particular CT involves dye being injected into you through an IV. REALLY not a fan of the IV (unless, of course it's injecting synthetic heroin into me following a surgery then I'm cool with it). I lost it at that point and ended up hyperventilating myself and breathing into a paper bag (should have taken a Valium *kicks self in ass*). The actual test was no biggie, except that terrible feeling the dye makes. The warm feeling then my heart started doing it's now famous skipped beat. Oh well, it's over and only took 4 hours out of my day. All I was told so far is my EKG showed what she called a "blockage", a "left something or other", "bunny ears" and a small "hole in my heart". I knew something was up when the nurse running the EKG went "Interesting. Let me run another one.". Hmmm is what I say. I am to go back to the hospital tomorrow after fasting for 12 hours for the rest of the blood work and call the office on Monday to schedule the rest of the tests and find out the results of the CT. We'll go from there I guess.

Now that I think of it, I suspect other tests will involve an IV. I remember my dad saying the stress test did. They don't stick you on a treadmill anymore. They just inject you with shit to make your heart think it's being pushed to the limit. Well, I better get used to needles again in a hurry.

Got the last of the blood work done today. They ran about 6 or 7 tests today. Since I had to fast for it, I went while Sky was at bowling. My veins have a habit of hiding once they are hit so she couldn't get the same one as yesterday. It was screaming "Nooooooo!" and collapsed. She ended up using my wrist and guess what? I didn't even tear up this time! Now, really, this is a record for me...being stuck 4 times in less than 24 hours *pats self on back and gives a reassuring you-go-girl*. I look like a pincushion though. I told them if they could just go ahead and deflate about 10 lbs, that would be cool. All night I had this terrible taste in my mouth like metal-ish but not blood-metal-ish. I think it was from that dye they used yesterday. I overheard them telling someone else about a bad taste so I just assume.

Skylar bowled a 68 today, every game above his average and got his first strike with no bumpers. He's pretty jazzed. My fingers feel bruised from the blood draws so that might affect my game tomorrow.

Bets are closed!

Bets are closed. Edr0 came back to good 'ol Ohio on Wednesday. I think Mau said less than a week but I said 2 weeks. His g/f, Roongtiwan and her sister got in a fight and her sister threw her out of her place so they came back here. Odd, yes. Edr0 said they might be getting a place up by his work, he got his old job back and they've got Roon working there too now. Well, at least now we might get to meet her huh?

I love Dr.S

Sorry for the delays in posting but we changed hosts and for some reason, I cannot post to my blog so I moved it to Blogspot for now.

I saw Dr.S. I went over my symptoms with him and he said it definitely didn't sound like I was having Meniere's attacks. He kept saying I needed to be on beta blockers to regulate my heart beat but he's an ENT so, of course, I will go see my cardiologist and see what they say. Dr.S hooked me up with more Valium though with a refill...boy, I really like him. He also said my ears look good and the shunt should still be working. He said very rarely he needs to go in again and put a new one in and he doesn't think that is my case as of now. I'm not very dizzy and I'm not having vertigo attacks...I only get dizzy when my heart skips a beat.

My stupid heart messed up my league bowling. Not that we would have won over these 2 guys anyways but I felt like I was about to pass out the whole time so it didn't make it any fun and I couldn't concentrate. The guys were really nice and didn't try to rush me when I was feeling bad. The one guy, Ernie, can throw between his legs and get a strike...craziness. Mary Jo and Keith joined but there's an uneven amount of teams so they just played against the blind (don't ask me because I didn't really understand it myself but I think it's a set score they had to beat). Next week, Sue and Ryan said they'd go so we might have an even amount then.

Doggie is doing good. We got her a Halti collar that goes around her snout and back of head so when she pulls, it just pulls her head to the side and she stops pulling. A humane alternative to the choke chains. Now she's a dream to walk through the woods because she walks at MY pace, instead of pulling me. She still flips out when she sees squirrels and rubs her snout on the grass to try to get it off. It's kind of funny. She barks now too. Usually only if she's outside and she sees something coming toward our yard so she's more of a watchdog now. She's really protective over Skylar and still sleeps on his bed every night. She's scared of the cats...well, mainly Ian and Freyja. She likes Tommy and tries to play with him but he's not having that at all.

October

It's October finally. I really love October. It's one of my favorite months, unfortunately it's not as good when money is super tight like now. Costumes are expensive and our annual party costs a bit, not to mention Mau's birthday and our anniversary are smack dab in the middle of it all. Mau did get a job...a continuation of the temp job until something better comes along. He will also try to work a few nights at either Thai or the Chinese restaurant to make sure we have enough for taxes and Xmas. In the meantime, my wonderful father is helping me pay my health insurance premiums.

I suppose I should do an update on my dad. He's doing better. He says he can walk upstairs if he uses both railings and he can get around pretty good with a cane. He says he's still got a distinct limp but he will talk to his cardiologist next week and ask if that will improve with time. He was told not to drive for 6 weeks but nothing stops my die-hard dad. He's been driving to Longview (Washington, about an hour away) to see his new g/f. Yes, girlfriend. Slightly strange but I also have a feeling the meaning of g/f at age 78 is different than what it means at a much younger age. She's a twice widow (careful of the kiss of death dad) and they lived next door to each other 50 years ago when my mom was still living and the kids not born yet. He's happy and I know he's lonely so he needs a companion. I just would rather not see a marriage happen out of this...not to be greedy but it's MY money, you know? Not the money of some woman I have never met in my life. And I would prefer my sister and I to be making any major decisions regarding his life that he cannot make. Don't get me wrong, I want him to be happy though.

I get to see Dr S on Monday finally. Not too exciting since my issues don't involve him right now I don't think. I just need more Valium basically. My important appointment is next Friday...7 long days away. Everyday is a struggle now and my brain is exhausted from trying to self diagnose myself. My heart acts up more often...from maybe 3 times per day to about 20 times now. When it happens, I get dull pains in the middle of my back and nearly pass out then I get confused for a few minutes as to where I am. This is making me anxious and scared to go places or be by myself for any length of time. I am scared to play DDR as it's such an endurance game. I try to ignore my heart and keep playing (if it does it while I am playing) but yesterday I got tunnel vision, started blacking out and jumped off in mid song. It scared the fuck out of me so I stopped playing.

With all this, Mau not making nearly enough money and I really don't have any friends, I am getting very depressed lately. Edr0 left for California on Wednesday so that X's off another friend out of the 2 left.

UPDATE: Edr0 just called while I was typing this wanting to talk to Mau because he's trying to find Venice Beach and he's lost at a pay phone. Oh boy. His g/f's sister was supposed to line him up with a job but he said "she hasn't really mentioned it". So he's applying at restaurants and stuff...you know, those type of jobs that make it really easy to get by in So.CA. He sounded kind of strange, kind of homesick and nervous. Bets are open!

Sky bowled much better this week. His average is a 28 and he bowled well over that every game and his team won every game too! He bowled a 64. I feared I might have to make good on my promise of buying him his own ball when he bowls a 75. The trick this week was him using a heavier ball and it seemed to stick to the lane much better. The little old lady who runs the youth league said she's got something special for Sky that she would bring next week...I don't know what that means. I think we talked Mary Jo and Keith into joining our league and Sue and Ryan said they were interested too. It would be nice to have some people we know there too. It's 2 person mixed so we'd play against them some weeks which might help our rankings :P